


Dependant

by CarmillaSheridan



Category: SKAM (France), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2019-11-08 22:53:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17990024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarmillaSheridan/pseuds/CarmillaSheridan
Summary: They're are not dependant, and Lucas's going to prove it. Of course he can last one week without kissing or being intimate with Eliott! So when his friends challenge him, he accepts. Of course he regrets it five seconds later, b ecause his boyfriend clearly doesn't want him to win.Just some after season 3 fluff and smutty stuff to ease the pain.





	1. "We dare you"

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic in English and I'm writing it on a couple that means a lot to me. I hope you'll all enjoy it. I'm on tumblr if you wanna or if you have some prompts for me. (@carmillasheridan) 
> 
> Kisses!

Friday, 23h58. 

The air around them was cracking gently with laughter and cigarette smokes and Lucas inhaled it gladly. His back against the velvet booth, he smiled at Yann and Arthur arguing about who had the best shot at flirting with the cute waitress who had just handed them their drinks. To his right Manon, Alexia and Emma were talking about Alexia's latest fling, down to the last details, making him laugh more often that he would have dared to do before. He probably would have participated more if it wasn't for the thumb lazily writing patterns on his neck. Gently at first, barely touching the skin, but almost scraping now, all nails and intent. He turned his head slowly, facing Eliott who was patiently waiting for him to react.

“Hey” he whispered languidly, trying to play it cool in front of his boyfriend, whose eyes became more and heated with each second. The finger on his neck moved slowly downwards, stopping at the edge of his shirt. Eliott's eyes were shining like diamonds as he answered with the same word, alterning between tenderness and desire. To be the focus of such a stare after all these months.. He let himself melt against his boyfriend, as his so familiar lips tool control over his own. The kiss is slow and exploring, but not soft. Fire burns behind it. 

“Erm.. could you not,like do that, in front of my beer?” Basile, interrupts, his voice barely audible while Yann laughs.   
Eliott's eyes twinked with mischief as Lucas sighed with false irritation. 

“Jeez, jealous much Baz? Is it because Daphnée stood you up again? You know she's dating the new girl?” He teased, happy to hear his boyfriend laugh at his joke. God, how he loves to be the one responsible for making him happy, even for a few seconds.   
“Ahah. Hilarious. No, I was just saying that you two could stop sucking face for one second.”  
“We were doing nothing of the sorts.” Lucas shook his head, trying not to be distracted by the chuckle beside him. 

“Please, dude, you were doing the eye-fucking thing you always do in public. We get to see that every freaking night out.” interjected Arthur, while sipping some of his beer.

“The eye-what?” Eliott and him turned their heads towards Arthur, at the same moment, earning soft laughs from the girls. 

“The eye-fucking thing,the way you are literally banging each other in your minds so loud everyone can picture it? And it ain't pretty.” Arthur added, pointed his beer bottle at the two lovebirds. 

“Same thing, with the hand-fucking you do. Like when your hands are all over the other, and you pretend it's just innocent and it's really not?” Yann continued, interrupting Lucas who was about to answer. The young man closed his mouth and looked up to the man at his left, waiting for his reaction. 

Eliott seemed amused, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. His eyes were heated again.   
“Well I was thinking about doing not very PG stuff on this table with you, so they do have a point here.” he said in a low voice and Lucas felt his cheeks turned red. But he saw what Eliott wanted and he offered his flirtiest smile 

“And I was gonna let you, of course.” He winked exageratively as all their friends groaned in unison. Eliott beamed at him, like he always did when Lucas managed to guess exactly what he was thinking. They understood each other without uttering a word now and that fact was still mesmerising for Eliott and something Lucas was very proud of. They got lost in each other's eyes for a moment and the world disappeared around them. 

“You see, my point exactly. Now you're doing the We're so in love, the rest of the world cannot touch us, we're so cute together and shit.” ” Basile argued, his mouth full of the sandwich he ordered. “You two are too dependant on one another. Either jumping at each other every five seconds, or staring at ach other like love sick puppies. Can you even be separated for one minute?”

“Of course we can , don't be stupid. We're not always together. Eliott doesn't even go to our school anymore remember? He's in uni.”

“Yeah but he walks you to school every morning and you pick him at night, you sleep together every night. And you text literally all the freaking time.” 

“Baz's right. You text him all day. And you're just as worse,” added arthur, pointing at Eliott. “You call him on lunch break to know what he's doing. You know what people do on lunch break Eli? They eat, damn it.” He took another sip. “You two are co-dependant, you need to chill.”

“Okay, we can chill you know, and we're not co-dependant.” Lucas was piqued. He was becoming offended and a part of him started to worry that Eliott would agree with the boys. Clearly he was more of a text person that Eliott, always sending a meme or a funny/cute image to lighten the other's mood. He hadn't thought much of it until now but he started to feel too invasive. Maybe he was annoying Eliott and he didn't want to hurt him by saying it. He felt the need to justify himself. 

“We can totally be separated. And we can prove it.”He added as the others started laughing. 

“Sorry but no one's buying that.” Manon replied in her soft tone. “You are too addicted to one another, no way you'll last more than a day without at least calling, kissing or having sex. You just not that kind of couple.”

Uneasiness snucked inside Lucas' insides, were they so fragile in their friends' eyes? A couple's only link being sex and dependancy? They probably weren't really meaning about that, but the thought didn't leave his mind. They were more than touches and physical Intimacy, they could last without those things and he'll prove it.   
He glanced at Eliott but the other man looked unbothered by all this and it troubled Lucas even more. Did he agree with the others, were they just a physical couple for him too? 

“Oh no, not a day. A week.” He declared forcefully, slamming his pint on the table too strong.   
“We'll last a week, Eliott and I. We're not dependant and we'll prove it.” He turned towards Eliott was was raising a quizzical eyebrow at him. Their eyes locked again and Lucas felt the full force of these ravaging blue orbs on him. They were probbing at him, patient and kind, but full of questions.   
Lucas tried to convey his concerns with a word, and it seemed to work, for Eliott turned towards the others and said. 

“I agree, we can definitely last a week without sleeping together.”

“You know we don't mean just sleep right, we meant no sex too.” Yann laughed. “No way you can last that long, you too are like rabbits.” 

“One week” Lucas interrupted him. “We won't sleep in the same bed, we won't have sex and we won't call as much.”

“It also means no handjobs or blowjiobs. No touching of any kind. Ok, just PG stuff, I'm not a monster. Don't want to explode in math class. ” Basile started to right the conditions on a piece of paper and Lucas sighed in front of his friend's antics. Starting tonight. One of you will have to move, by the way.”

“What?” Lucas exclaimed, as Eliott shot a worried glare at the curly-haired boy.  
“Well, yes that's the point.” 

“Lucas can stay at the flat, Lisa and Mika are gone on vacation for two weeks, it's only me, I wouldn't mind the company.” offered Manon with a little smile. “You could even have your old room back.” 

“Perfect then. Not too late to back out though.” teased Arthur and Lucas scoffed, before looking at Eliott's face. He looked amused in the dimmed lights of the bar. Lucas felt a pang of regret in his chest, before the beauty of his companion. How was he supposed to last a week without basking in his presence. 

“I'll go grab a beer, you want some?” asked Eliott, looking back at him. If he saw the longing on Lucas' face he didn't comment on it. 

“Sure, I'll come with you.” Lucas started to move but he was stopped by the amused stares of the others. “Or I'll stay right here,younknow, like a non-dependant person that has NO desire to spend time with you. So boring.” he corrected sheepishly, as Eliott laughed and move away, gracefully, into the crowd.

Later that night, in their last moment alone, Lucas slided next to his boyfriend for a stolen moment. “You sure you're okay with “The Bet”? I'm sorry you got dragged into this. I'm just kinda sick of people always doubting us somehow. I know the boys don't really mean anything by it.. I just want people to realize we are just as normal as they are in their own thing. I want to prove we're.. functionnal. That we work together. And also that Us, is more than just sex.” 

“But the sex is good, right?” the young man joked and Lucas instantly felt better. Eliott wasn't mad, on the contrary, he seemed to find it all very amusing. He even helped with the conditions, bickering with Arthur and Basile as they listed them.   
“Yeah the sex is good, mec.” they burst out lauging, their shoulders brushing softly over their pints.   
God, how Lucas was going to miss this, their quiet intimacy, the hushed jokes and little touches. 

Eliott bent down towards him, his eyes like fire embers under dark eyelashes. 

“Well I think a week-long wait is gonna make it even better.” he smirked and straightened out, leaving his boyfriend in a daze. 

How was he supposed to resist a whole week indeed...


	2. Whispers at night

Chapter 2 : "Whispers at night"

“Weren't we supposed to stop doing that?” he managed to breathe in the dark as teeth mercilessly nibbled at his throat. His jacket was long gone, laying, disregarded on the floor and Eliott's hands were all over his stomach, demanding. He couldn't say he didn't feel the tension rising up as they were walking back home, Manon at their side. He was just supposed to pick a few stuff at their place to last the whole week. 

“She knows it's gonna take a few minutes.” answered Eliott before biting down on his neck, hard enough to leave a freaking mark. A moan escaped his lips before he could stop it, his neck was his weak spot, the one that made him all pliable and willing. Eliott knew that of course, cheeky bastard. The day he discovered that spot, just above the junction between neck and shoulder, and saw its effect, he had lighted up light a Christmas tree. 

“It's not fair that you can do that to me.” Lucas murmured before kissing him again, more turned on that he would have liked. “How come you don't have a easily reachable spot like that? Your thigh is way to difficult to reach from here”   
Eliott wiggled his eyebrows at him and he scoffed. 

“Good for me then.” Fingers lingered in his hair, emprisoning tresses, pulling them softly. Another on of his weaknesses and his eyes fluttered shut. “And maybe we should stop right now before you can't resist anymore. Wouldn't want you to lose your challenge so soon.” 

Lucas let out an undiginfied, disappointed groan, before the words dawned on him.   
“Wait, what do you mean, I ? And loose?” Before the crinkled smile, he understood in a split second.  
“Oh my God, that's what you think, isn't it? You think I can't resist you! You think I'll lose because I'm not strong enough to resist.. The audacity. Stop laughing at me!” He gave a soft blow on Ekiott, harmless as a kitten, which is probably what the taller boy thought because he shook his head and laughed.

“Lu, You were already ready to let me have you, right now, and I barely started. And I love that.” he urges as he saw a cloud of doubt settling on the other's face. “Trust me, I LOVE that you are always eager for us to be together like that. Because after everything you saw of me, the lowest of the low, I don't quite understand how you can still want me that much but, you do, and I am so thankful for that. For you. But the fact is,” his tone became lighter, “ that you're insatiable. So yeah, I'm gonna resist this week better that you do. Plus I'm older, I can control my needs better.” he finished proudly,before kissing him again.

As moved as Lucas was by the first part of Eliott's confession, and he really was, the second part lowkey pissed him off. 

One year ago, his insecurities would probably have gotten the best of him, but he was different from the young and inexperience teenager he used to be, he had evolved and matured and so did his relationship with Eliott. He still doubted, that's why he had accepted the bet in the first place. But he knew his boyfriend was just as “insatiable” as he was, and yes, he was probably better at hiding it but that didn't mean Lucas didn't know. It was actually something he was secretly proud of, the way their passion for each other had remained intact. He had dreaded the moment it would grow tame and it never had. That was what he was thankful for. 

Since Eliott wanted to play it that way, Lucas was more than willing to oblige. The game was on.

“Oh yeah?” he raised his eyebrow with mock doubt. “Well I guess we'll see then.” He leaned into his boyfriend aiming for his lips but dived out the last second to kiss his long pale neck. “See ya!” He grabbed his jacked and bolted through the door before the older man could even move. He was already at the frontdoor, bags in hand and Manon by his side when Eliott finally caught on and reached out to him. “ Wait, You're leaving right now? But...” 

“But what?” Lucas put his innocent face on, the one he usually used on his teacher when he was caught talking instead of working. “I thought we were done.”He winked at him, trying not to laugh at Eliott's taken aback expression. “I guess I'll see you tomorrow.” His heart swelled as fondness took over his boyfriend's face. He closed the door gently, following Manon in the darkened street. He tried not to think too much of the tall, shaggy-haired boy alone in the appartement. 

 

“You sure text a lot, for people who are supposed to prove they are not attached by the hips.” joked Basile as Lucas was checking his phone for the fiftieth time in the line. The movie was supposed to start in 30 minutes and Eliott always loved to get there early to watch the ads when they went to movie dates. Usually they cuddled together, their legs tangled up, and ate all of their popcorns. 

“Actually, they barely texted since last night, I checked.” Manon declares proudly, before babbling about the movie they decided to watch. She was telling the truth. They didn't really talk after their goodbyes last night and it had taken all of Lucas's strenght to keep it that way. They used their secret weapon to send messages to each other though: their Spotify shared playlist. Of course, Eliott had to put the song they had kissed their former girlfriends to at the Infiltration party last year. It was payback of course, He knew the effect it had on Lucas : turning him on and making him jealous at the same time. Lucas had almost been able to see his smile across the city. God, he loved his petty boyfriend.   
His counter-attack had been sweeter, chosing the first song he had played at the piano for Eliott. “I love you.” it was as fitting last night as it had been foreshadowing the first time. 

He's fidgetting now, impatient. A little nervous too. Since everything settled down between them, they've never been separated this long. So when he sees the now familiar leather jacket that seems almost red under the street lights, he cannot stop the relief he feels. Eliott's eyes never lacked of intensity, that's for sure, but even by their standards, they devour him while he approaches, graceful as always. They meet in silence, the happy chatter of their friends surrounding them. 

“Fine, you can have one kiss.” Lucas heard Basile said, and he didn't ask for it but he can't think of anything else he wants more right now. Eliott probably felt the same way because his lips are on him in a second, as if they were pulled forward by something greater than themselves. The kiss is demanding and urgent, and the silent question behind it makes it ever more intense. “Did you miss me?”

They stop when Yann pulls Lucas' sleeves, saying they have to move inside and they don't hold hands or anything but Eliott is so close it's overwhelming. The younger boy feels a piece of paper sliding into his jean back pocket, he doesn't react because they're supposed to be discreet but the voice tickling his ear makes it very hard. “I spent last night drawing you, I couldn't sleep.” 

He plays coy. “I thought you said it'll be a walk in the park for you.” He does his thing with the big innocent eyes and Eliott looks like he wants to kiss him again. He doesn't. His eyes do it for him and Lucas is warm all over. 

They should be sitting far from each other if they wanted to have the chance to win the bet. But Basile wants him to lose, obviously, and they have adjoining seats. “If you want to win this evening event of the bet, no kissing, suspectively disappearing hands or make out sesh during the ads, just normal, not lovesick boyfriends behaviour.” declares Arthur in a solemn voice that makes Manon laugh. Lucas sighs but agrees with a nod, trying to ignore the mischievous glint in his boyfriend's eyes. 

“Think you can keep your hands to yourself for once?” the words are low in the shell of his ear and his skin itches all over. “Because I don't think I can.” Even in the semi darkness, his smile is blinding. Lucas becomes aware of the pressure of a thigh againsy his own, fingers grazing teasngly at his arm. “Actually I don't want to.” 

They stay like this for a good twenty minutes before he can't take this anymore and bolted to the restroom, not even thinking of an excuse.   
Just a few minutes to himself, that's all he needed. God he misses him. He hates to be this clingy, touch-craved guy but, one day and he feels like throwing the bet out of the window for five mintutes of... well he doesn't know what exactly. Or he knows it too well. 

 

The door bounces open and suddenly he's here, eyes burning into his skin, fingers like cat claws keeping him where he wants, not harming, just possessive. In his desire-fuelled brain, Lucas takes a certain pleasure knowing he isn't the only one struggling. They are alone in the tiled, too white, restrooms, and Eliott leads him towards one of the cubicle, his lips demanding. Lucas's back is firmly pushed against the restroom's door, and he wraps his legs around the other's waist for leverage. 

“I thought you were better at resisting.” Lucas exhales, pleasure erasing the smugness of his voice. The hand in his hair tugs at him softly and their eyes meet, cloudy with desire. 

“You left me hanging last night. And you didn't text or call all night. I wrecked my brain thinking of what you were doing.” Eliott kisses him again, deeply. All tongue and no reserve, like he always does. Lucas often wonders if he wants to brand him with his kisses. Each of them are undeshadowed by silent pleas of reassurance. 

“Yeah but you're so strong. Didn't think you needed me last night.” 

“I always need you.” The urgency stops Lucas's teasing on his lips like a bird who refuses to leave the safety of his branch. He knows better than to mock during moments of truth like this. He sees the vulnerability, fleeting in the ocean staring back at him. It's his turn to kiss now, gentle and kind. Another type of depth. The heat is milder, now, almost forgotten but still rampant underneath their skins. 

“I'm sorry. It's just for a few days. Just to show.... we are not this type of couple. The unhealthy, dependant type. Because we're not.. and we'll prove it to them.” He places a hand on Eliott's chest, right on his heart. Before Eliott he would have seen this gesture as completely cheesy, but he knows his boyfriend's attachment to symbols. They have a wall in their flat covered with them. Symbols of their love on paper. 

“Why is it so important? They support us, they're just teasing. Who are you trying to convince, you or them?” The voice above him turns to pleading, and Lucas knows he won't resist much longer. He snuggles underneath Eliott's chin and long arms sneak around his waist in response. 

“I want to prove it to everybody. Including us.” He kisses his neck, savoring the small gasp that answers. “And, let's face it, the sex we're going to have in 6 days is going to be even more breathtaking than usual. We both know it. If I remember, you're the one who like games. Remember our first kiss.” 

The other man is looking at him with a tenderness that almost knocks the breath out of him. “Maybe, but I was terrified that night. And also so so jealous about Chloé and you. I had to do it.To show what could be if you let me in. Now I just want you to myself again.”

They rub their noses together, one of their favorite small gestures of affection. It pains Lucas to say it but he knows them by heart and although their heated moment has passed, it will soon start again. They were never very good at resisting one another.

“We should go, we're missing out on the entire movie.” Eliott sighs unhappily and his hand tightens around the smaller boy's waist but he optemperates and soon they exit the cubicle. 

They manage to watch the rest of the movie in a companiable silence, even if Lucas can't help but watch shadows of black and white from the screen play on Eliott's profile, caressing his nose, making his eyes stand out brighter than any images on screen. He doesn't follow the movie, can't even say what it is about. Eliott sees him too, stare at him like they're sharing a secret, looking at each other in the dark. Maybe they do. 

They're “allowed” to kiss again when they say goodbye before the theater, Lucas narrowed his eyes at that. Basile and Arthur smile smugly, even if they admit that they didn't win tonight. Apparently they were so engrossed in the movie, they didn't even see them leave.

Their tongues melt together as if they had been separated for months and not mere minutes. How can he last when Eliott looks at him like that. All warmth and determination.

He can barely sleep that night. He can physically feel his resolve wearing thin, like a piece of old parchment progressively destroyed by time. His skin itches by the sheer longing of the other's presence and he can almost feel Eliott beside him on the bed, the one they shared their first night on. The picture Eliott sends him of their own bed and himself naked in it doesn't help either. The heat is all consuming and he submits freely to it, in the comforting darkness of his old room.


	3. Desires on Paper

Monday. 6h14

He had woken up, damp and tired. He can't really remember the dream but he remembers the skin, the touches and the words. It's not imagination, it's memory. He had been so close when he had woken up, electricity rushing under his skin. He lays flat on his belly, pushing his hips slowly against the firmness of the matress underneath. His hands grips the corner of his pillowcase for leverage as his movements accelerates. He stiffles his moans as the pace quickens, his senses are full of Eliott even if he's not there. He can almost feel him on top of him, moving in unison with each trust, whispering how much he loves to see him like that, rutting between him and the matress. The heat pooling in his belly is almost too hard to bear and just when he thought he couldn't handle it anymore, the orgasm rips through him and leaves him panting, desperate for air. Just when the last overwhelming wave of pleasure leaves his body, he remembers. He has already lived this scene. Back when they were discovering each other's bodies. Eliott had teased him for hours and refused to touch with his hands, only to see. He had obliged and Eliott hadn't lasted five minutes before turning him around and replace the firmness of the matress by his own . 

A shiver starts to dance on his skin as he remembers the sensations. How his movements had seemed clumsy and embarassed, how shy he was to show himself like that. How he had deeply enjoyed Eliott reaching out, placing himself between Lucas and everything else. Eliott wasn't one to watch, he needed the touch “Always the raccoon.” Lucas had joked softly against his lips and they had kissed with such abandon. 

Monday : 9h02 

“Miss you” by Blink 182. Fitting. He smiled at his screen, happy to see that Eliott was still thinking about him and using their shared account as he was no doubt attending his first class of the morning in Uni. Just as he spotted the guys coming towards him, he put his phone away. In his pocket, he felt a piece of paper creasing under his fingers and he took it out. His own face looked back at him, head thrown back in pleasure, a moan frozen on barely opened lips, terribly long eyelashes casting intimate shadows on the height of his cheeks. And against his paper clone, a strong and lean back, barely defined, topped by a strong neck and muffled hair that seemed to rest gently against the side of his face. Once again, Eliott made him feel a different kind of warmth. He usually prefered to represent them as animals, another one of their rituals, but sometimes, he really wanted to draw Lucas, as he was, or at least, how Eliott saw him. Those drawings had another meaning, one that wasn't fully disclosed to Lucas yet. He didn't even get to see all of them. However, he got this one. He turned the paper over, looking for clues, and sure enough he found it. “I draw you when I can't have you. I really wish you were here, against me, just like this.” He exhaled shakily. Trust his boyfriend to make him hot and weak in the knees at the same time, so full of two emotions that he can't control. Eliott sure wasn't playing fair. 

 

17h53

More than 8 hours later and the whole world seems upside down. He's holding a different kind of paper right now and he should be over the moon, he really should. Arthur is ecstatic next to him, going on and on about how they're going to the same school next year and how relieved he is that they were both admitted. To be honest, Lucas had completely forgotten about the result for the admissions that were supposed to drop today. Eliott, surprisingly (he always forgot everything from birthdays to where he put his keys, except when it was about Lucas) didn't, and he had called during the afternoon break to ask. He had looked at his friends with shock but they were already checking the results. He promised to call him as soon as he knew the answer, good or bad. He really hoped it would be good. 

An hour later, they had printed their admission files and were checking the list of classes, books and the organigram of their future formation. And while Arthur was complaining about the amont of mathematics, he could only see those words : mandatory semester abroad. He hated those words. How come he didn't know about this? He swore he read the whole file before sending his application. He never saw the words mandatory. He looked for a date, a length, a way out. Four months, minimum. Could be six if you decided to take an internship in a company instead of just following classes in a university. 

“How cool is that?” Arthur beamed at him, when Lucas wordlessly pointed the lines. Yann was frowning at him, already guessing the reason for the lost expression on his friend's face. Four months was all he could answer, barely a whisper in the empty corridor. They didn't hear him. They talked a little, before parting ways at the bus station. He waved weakly, unable to speak. He felt as if all of his blood had left his face, leaving him cold and unbalanced. He couldn't be away from Eliott for four months. He could barely stand a day. And there was no way, he could ask Eliott to just wait. No, he was going to, of course. But four months was a long time to keep the heart of another person when you're not particularly remarkable. No way no one more interesting, sexier than he was, wasn't gonna catch his eyes. How could it not be? Who would remember him if he wasn't around. And that was withouft taking into account all the other parameters.   
The urge to scramble the paper in his paper was overwhelming, the joy of being accepted to this super selective school vanished into thin air. His feet seemed unbearably heavy, unable to transport him any longer and he collapsed on the nearest seat on the bus, unaware of the disaproving glances he attracted his way. How was he even going to breach the subject to his boyfriend? He read the paper again. The school strongly adviced students to take this semester abroad on their second semester of first year, when the workload was still manageable. Great. He had to tell him. He needed Eliott to say the words.   
“Of course, we'll wait. Four months is nothing.” But he had to tell him soon. 

In the end, he just texted. “I got in.” 

 

19h45 

He didn't expect to find him at his door, however, all giddy and proud. He didn't realise how much he wanted to see him until he was there, close enough to touch. 

“I'm supposed to get you, we're going to your and the guys pizza place. Yann texted me. To celebrate.” He adds when Lucas looks a little lost.   
“Are you okay? You don't seem happy. I thought you would be after the news.” His hands foils aroud the nape of his neck and Lucas takes a deep breath. Something about being near Eliott always calms him down. He should tell him.

“No, I'm fine. Just tired. We had PE this afternoon, I think I'm just gonna go clean myself before we leave.”

“Want me to come with you?” Eliott winked at him, and laughed as Lucas became all flustered.  
“No thanks, I'll be done in five minutes.”   
“With me, you'll be done in three.”   
“Oh stop it.” Lucas threw the shirt he has just taken off at him. Eliott caught it, a teasing smile on his lips. The younger one kept his distance, knowing all too well the look on the other's face. Usually he would bounce on him in the following seconds. Not this time, however, Eliott kept the t-shirt in his hand but stayed where he was, his eyes a shade darker. 

“You know I'm right. Remember our little session when we were in school together?” 

Lucas grunted something as he turned around and entered the bathroom. Of course, he remembered the beginning of their relationship when hours apart were made up for by breathless kisses in a bathroom stall, relentless hands and urgent orgasms. Eliott's favorite game at that time was to steal moans out of Lucas' lips, smiling against his long throat as he shuddered helplessly against him. They had been shameless in their desires. Still were in fact. 

Is it always going to be this way, Lucas wondered as Eliott walked towards him after he exited the bathroom. He didn't try to kiss him this time, just putting his hand in his hair, and pulling him close, smelling his perfume. Lucas didn't use to wear any. Eliott bought him for him. Manon said the both of them spent hours searching for the perfect one for Lucas. 

The younger man couldn't smell it on himself, apparently it's a sign that's a perfect fit but Eliott adored it, and always seemed weak when he caught a sniff of it on Lucas. “It smells like sea and forest at the same time, just so inviting and mysterious, just like you.” he had whispered to Lucas one night when they were still connected and spent. To him, it just smelt nice. But he would lie if he said his heart didn't skip a beat when Eliott admitted putting some of it on his pillow since Lucas began sleeping at Manon's for the bet. “This way I can almost imagine you're there with me.” He thought of the words on the piece of paper he still had in his jean pocket and his heart broke a little.

 

20h30

So, the game was still on, Lucas thought as he watched Eliott flirted back with the pretty waitress. She had been roaming near them and batting her eyelashes at him since the moment they sat down at their booth. And he played along of course, just to rile Lucas up a little. It was harmless really, just a blinding smile and shiny eyes. Always seconded by a hot look in his direction afterwards, a dare on his smile. “Come and get me then, if that bothers you so much.” They were seated in front of each other and all meal long, Eliott's foot had been moving slowly up and down his leg, so high sometimes Lucas just had to switch position. The smiles he received after that were mesmerising. 

He knew it was a game, a provocation to make him say “Fuck this bet” and jumped in Eliott's arms right in the middle of this nearly deserted restaurant as if they were alone in the world. Had he been in his normal place of mind, it would probably have worked. But all he could think about was “There will be so many of them, when I'm gone. So many handsome men and women throwing themselves at him like that. And I won't be here. Just like I'm not here now, for her. Why would he say no then? I won't be here.” And he thought of Julia, one of Eliott's new classmates in art school, that was clearly infatuated with him. Devastating blue eyes and cherry lips. Eliott never even glances at her at the party Lucas was first introduced to her, fascinated as he was by the reflect of the colored lamps on Lucas' hair. He had played with them all party long before snatching his boyfriend away. The smaller boy had really tried not to lool triumphantly at the dark haired girl as they passed near her. He had failed. 

With him gone, nothing could stop him from being attracted to cherry lips. He looked at the waitress and saw a different shade of red on her lips. Suddenly he hated the color. 

Eventually, Eliott realized something was off and he frowned at him but Lucas didn't meet his eyes, staying quiet. He couldn't wait to be out of there. He was the first one outside after they paid fot their meals. He sensed Eliott trying to scoop near him but he stayed by Yann's side, barely acknowledging his boyfriend. The waitress tried to talk to the older boy one last time but he ignored her, following Lucas outside. He, too, was quiet now. 

“Well, time to go, but since I'm so generous, you two may have your goodbye kiss” teased Basile, feigning to bow at Lucas and Eliott. The others laughed but all Lucas could see was the red of the waitress' lips and Eliott's smirk. 

“Actually I'm fine, thanks, I think I'll head home now.” Lucas answered coolly. All eyes turned on him and he tries not to notice his boyfriend's hurt face. “I mean, I don't want to take the risk to lose the bet.” His smile didn't reach his smile and the others exchanged cautious looks. Lucas buried his hands in his jacket, in order to hide how tightly he had turned them into fists. “I have to go, bye guys.” He saw the bus coming near them and swiftly moved towards it. 

He got inside without turning back, perfectly aware of their stares on his back. He heard his phone buzzing in his pocket but he ignored it. One stare burned him more than the others. Even after he got out, he half expected him to follow him and to stop him in the middle of the street to demand an explanation. He dreaded it at the same time. But he soon became clear that no one was going to catch up so he just walked faster. Each step seemed harder to take as his mind wandered to a life in Paris without him. 

He arrived in the appartement with wet cheeks that didn't entirely have to do with the cold air outside. He waved at Manon, which was headed to bed with a cup of hot herbal tea in her hand. She had made one for him, that was waiting on the kitchen counter, to help him sleep better. He murmured a thank you and headed towards to bathroom. He definitely needed that shower now, if just to clear his mind. He had already decided to text Eliott, to apologize. He should have done that on the walk back home but he hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. He received several texts too, they flashed on his screen as a reminder of his attitude and he had refused to deal with them. Especially with the last one from Eliott “Please, freaking talk to me already.” 

He stepped into the shower with a heavy heart. Hot water started pouring down on him and he, unvoluntary let a sigh of contentment escape from his lips, he needed that. Steam slowly creeped on him, caressing his skin almost tenderly. He closed his eyes for a second, to escape a world where he didn't live this day yet. He tried to think of the other Lucases somewhere, and focused on the surfer one who was in Hawaii right now, for a surfing competition. He was his favorite. He could almost feel the sand under his feet, and imagine that the hotness surrounding him was the one of the jacuzzi he got to relax in after each day with his Eliott . He vaguely heard a door opening and closing somewhere but he didn't much attention to it. Manon was probably moving around the flat, she had trouble sleeping these days, since she had learned about Charles' coming back to France. He couldn't blame her on that one. 

A slight, colder breeze descended to his neck and he shivered. Did he open the window? He honestly couldn't remember. Suddenly the stream shifted around him as if it was disturbed in its slumber and cold rushed to his back. He shivered violently and turned to the shower door before being stopped abruptly by golden skin. That belonged to the tempetuous blue eyes that dove right to his own. Hands clasped around his forearms, forbidding him from moving. He shuddered, more surprised than uncomfortable. Eliott guided them backwards until they were both under the hot water. Lucas had expected anger but certainly not the challenge in the clouded eyes. 

“You owe me a kiss.” said Eliott, defiantly. He is so close now, scorching hot against Lucas, towering above him. He smells like rain and fire.   
“I owe you nothing, ask your waitress. She'll be happy to.”   
“You can't say that.” Eliott's hand is in Lucas' hair now, tugging his head backwards, eyes searching him. “You know you're the only one that....”   
“Yeah, well, it didn't look that way tonight. Really you should go..” 

Eliott doesn't answer but he doesn't make the slighest movement to move. Lucas tries to move aways but the hand in his hair tightens even more and suddenly Elliot is even closer.   
“God, you make me crazy when you do that. When you don't trust me.” his boyfriend whispers, barely audible about the sound of water around them. Lucas feels some of his anger evaporating and his shoulders sank a little in defeat. 

“It's not that.. I'm just tired, you should go.” He refuses to meet the other boy's eyes but he should have known better. Eliott always refused to let him go easily, not without a fight. And he came tonight to fight with his whole body. He presses Lucas against the tiled wall of the shower, smiling as the smaller boy hissed with the cold. 

“Like I said, you owe me a kiss.” he hummed against Lucas' ear, savoring the goosebumps who statr to fly on the other's skin.   
“We can't, remember? The bet? Just you being here should mean I'm the winner here.” Lucas replies with a secretive smile. Nice distraction, still a lie though. 

“Is that why you left? Because you knew I'll crawl back here tonight, to get you.” Lucas stares at him, trying to look confident but Eliott knows him better than that. “Nah, you're never cruel. I think you were really jealous. And you know why? Because you miss and crave that.” He leans on him, and his confidence is not faked, his nose sliding up and down Lucas' neck, blowing air softly, smirking as the other boy exhales a shaky breath. 

The goosebumps are heading lower now, circling the nipples, making them hard, standing out against golden skin and Eliott cannot ignore how Lucas' body reacts to him. The almost imperceptible movement in his direction, how the abs contract as if his fingertips were already caressing them, the eyes almost black in the steamy room. 

“We're not supposed to touch.” Lucas had to speak. Because Eliott's eyes were hungry, mirroring his own. Because he was seconds away from asking, no, demanding to be taken here, bet be damned. And he couldn't have that, not after today. 

“We're not supposed to use hands, the conditions were actually quite specific. I helped wrote them, remember? And I had my ideas when I did.” Eliott contradicted him, his eyes already shining with determination. “I don't intend to use my hands tonight.” 

His whole body is pressed flushed against Lucas's now and it is so much that he has to close his eyes. Too much skin, everything is too hot around, him, the water, the steam, the mouth pressing at his neck. He is loosing himself in it. Oh, and Eliott is hard against his pelvis and he can't think properly anymore. His thought of resisting are slowly creeping away in the recess of his mind. 

“I won't use my hands and you won't use yours. Except if you can't resist of course.” Oh the cheeky little bastard. He actually says that out loud and Eliott laughs, the sound of it reverberating on the bodies. He doesn't kiss him but his mouth ghosts over his face and neck as their hips start moving slowly. It's like the mural all over again. He said that out loud as well. The taller boy gasps his agreement above him, pressing himself even closer, hunching his back a little so that they could touch everywhere. Eliott's hands are both against the wall, on each side of Lucas' head, who doesn't know where he should put his. He settles for Eliott's hair. 

“For someone who loves grabbing my ass in situation like this, you must be so frustrated right now.” teased Eliott between labored breaths. They had found their rhythm now, grinding slowly agaisnt one another. “No one would judge if you indulged yourself, you know.” 

Lucas graps the back of his boyfriend's head and brings it closer to his own. “You really are too certain of your seductive power for someone who ran all this way to beg for sex.” He has trouble finishing his sentence as sparks of pleasure dance on his skin, feeling Eliott's hardness against his own. Their movements are more frantic now, less measured as Eliott pins him against the wall and bit the skin of his neck, hard. A small cry escaped Lucas' lips and he probably would have felt embarrassed if he wasn't feeling how much Eliott enjoyed it. He always had a thing for how vocal Lucas could be in bed, his movements would falter, his hands would grab him tighter and his kisses would be so deep Lucas would forget how to breathe. 

Their lips were so close now, almost melting against the each others, much like they were. The tension was heavy around them, almost palpable. Lucas could barely see Eliott's eyes with the steam surrounding them, he could only see how dark and hungry they were. Tension had entered his body now, heady desire coursing through him making his skin rebel against it. Sparks started to dance behind his eyelids but he refuses to keep his eyes closed for this. He can hear his moans getting a little louder, almost as if they belong to someone else. Eliott's touching him and it makes him smile for a while, just a few brief seconds, before his orgasm takes over. He's in the other man's arm, now, trembling as splashes of white mix with water on Eliott's stomach. His boyfriend doesn't last very long after that, barely a few seconds, as if their own orgasms were connected. He grips Lucas so hard it almost hurt, head buried in the crook of his neck. He is always so quiet when he comes as if he's afraid the smallest sound could make Lucas disappear from his arms. 

“Why does it always have to be me first.” Lucas ends up complaining, the weight of Eliott against him. The tiles feel cool against his back but Eliott feels so warm, he doesn't mind the contrast. 

“Because I like to watch you.” the taller boy replies against his collarbone. “Does me in, everytime.” 

“I always knew you had voyeuristic tendancies.”   
“Only when it comes to you.”   
They laugh quietly, neither of them moving. 

“Are you still mad?” Eliott asks, uncertainty filling his voice. Lucas hates himself for a moment, remembering why he was so angry tonight, the impending thuth he didn't talk about. He kisses Eliott's wet hair.   
“Of course not. You know I can never stay mad at you, despite all the time you try to poison me with your food.” 

Eliott smiles against his skin and he stands a little taller now. With him, pleasure always comes with vulnerability afterwards, settling in like a ghost. 

“So .. the bet.” he continues.   
“Is still on.” finishes Lucas. “after all, that's what you said, we didn't use hands. Status quo, mec.”   
“Sure thing. So.. you havent' lost yet. Impressive.” A light tease with an undertone of regret. 

“And you have seen nothing yet.” Lucas replies, proudly. They challenge each other now, and electricity starts to move on their skin again. Lucas turns the water off, as a distraction. They exit together and dry one another with their white fluffy towels, another status quo. They hug one last time for the night, careful not to wake Manon as they wait by the door. A kiss is definitely there between them, begging to be freed. It stays in his cage, at least for tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you liked it. 
> 
> I just wanted to say that when Lucas says, "Always the raccoon" it's a reference to the fact that Raccoons are super tactile animals, they use their front paws a lot, like hands, so he's joking about that. In case it wasn't clear in the chapter. 
> 
> Love 
> 
> xx


	4. Text me if you dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry I haven't post anything in a while, I was really busy. So here is the new chapter, it's kinda smutty, I hope I did that well. 
> 
> Enjoy

Chapter 4 : Text me if you dare

Tuesday, 23h34 

 

Lucas threw his phone on the bed, his eyes watering after staring at the screen for too long. He had spent hours looking at possible solutions for his mandatory months abroad, from looking for other universities to looking for testimonies of people who survived long distance relationships. He never found a satisfactory solution, in either case. No other schools, and people saying long distance relationships were hard work, stories riddled with infidelity and frustrations. Of course he had found stories of a few good ones, with romantic, over-the-top outcomes but they didn't make erase the dread the others filled his stomach with. 

“You know that's bullshit, right?” Arthur had said at lunch time when he broached the subject, too nervous to eat, on again. “It's just going to be for a few months. Eliott and you can survive that long. And we'll litterary be a two-hours train ride from Paris. It's nothing.”

“Yeah.. but Eliott's condition... What if something bad happens when I'm away? I won't be here to.. help.” 

“Lucas” Basile had intervened. “You can't think like that. Eliott can take care of himself. And he has his classes too, he'll be fine. He won't be alone, we'll be here too.”  
He jerked his head towards Yann who nodded vigorously.

“And don't forget Idriss and Sofiane. They'll be like his personal bodyguards. You should see Idriss with Eliott at parties when you're not there. The dude literally growls at people who get too close to Eliott. “Sorry he's dating my friend, and he's hotter than you.” 

The whole table laughed and Lucas' mood lifted a little. Yann smiled and added : “Once he even put a paper written “Taken” on his back for a whole evening. So really, no one is gonna steal Eliott away.” His face became more serious when sadness clouded Lucas' eyes once more.   
“What does he say about it? Did he tell you he doesn't want you to go?” 

Lucas had shaken his head negatively, tears forming his eyes, a ball of fear forming in his throat, tighting it like a predator's claws closing in on its prey.

“No, I didn't tell him. I don't know how. I don't think I can do it. I can't go. He'll forget me if I do.” 

He had kept his eyes down on his untouched plate as he said that. His answer was only met by silence. Arthur broke it after a while, his voice soft but firm. 

“Man, you should really pay attention to the way he looks at you.” Lucas had looked up. “Talk to him, you'll figure it out. Because we can say ” 

They had quickly changed the subject after that. And the day had gone on, tiresome and quiet. Eliott didn't stop texting him, sending pictures or asking random things about his day, describing what he was doing in class. As he walked home, Lucas had called him and they had talked in ushered tones, sweet nothings that Lucas didn't really pay attention to, mesmerised as he was by this boyfriend's voice.

“Can I say I miss you without losing the bet?” Eliott had joked teasingly, bringing a smile to Lucas's face.   
“Yep, I think it's allowed. And I miss you too by the way.” 

Eliott's tone had turned teasing in another nature after that, words full of hidden meanings that had left shivers of unspoken desires on Lucas' skin. This searing warmth had substained long after the call was over. 

It wasn't completely gone too. His phone starts to vibrate on the bed on he picks it up, slowly, thinking briefly of not looking and staying safely tucked under the covers. The thought that it could be Eliott again made him change his mind however. 

 

E : And can I text you that I miss you without losing the bet too?   
L : Actually, I think you can't. I mean, twice in a day? Sounds like defeat to me. Also, we're not supposed to do that in Basile's bet either.  
E : Well, I've decided it's not losing. As for your other challenge, YOU can't text, nothing was said about ME texting you. Privilege of making the rules with them apparently.   
L : So what? I'm not supposed to answer you?  
E : Exactly. Don't worry, you won't need to. Just knowing you're reading this is enough.  
L : Enough for what?  
E: Oh you'll see. 

Lucas felt himself fidgetting in his bed, suddenly feeling too hot despite the relative coolness of the room. He peeked towards his door, looking for a ray of light indicating Manon might still be awake but only darkness could be perceived under the door. The entire flat was silent. His screen flashed again.

E : Are you alone?   
L : Why? Afraid I have a secret lover hiding in my closet? 

Lucas knew he was stalling something, but he couldn't help himself. The anticipation was too good not to be enjoyed. 

E : Haha, very funny (I really hope not, wouldn't want to commit a murder so young). Just checking if you won't be disturbed.   
L : From what? 

E : Do you know how much I want you right now? I can't stop thinking about yesterday. Have been replaying it all day. How hot you were against me, how hard.. I really wanted to take you right there, just like that. 

L : Yeah, but that would have been losing control mec, and you are so good at that. 

Lucas couldn't stop the proud teasing smile who appeared on his lips. He loved that game. 

E : Oh, I'm still in control. But do you have any idea of what I would do to you right now, if I was here?  
L : Sounds murdery. Not sure I like it. ;)  
E : Please, I know you. I bet you're getting as hard as I am right now.   
L : Not quite, Might a bit more convincing to get there. 

The heat that never left Lucas's stomach became unbearable. He took a few moments and decided to take his shirt off, leaving only his boxers. An instinct told him to lock the door and he did. They had tiptoed around this type of game for some times now, never really got into it, because, to be honest, they never separated long enough to need to do it, except for the occasional “J'ai envie de toi” when they went to different parties, which rarely ever happened. It was something they've talked about however, and Eliott always had this spark in his eyes everytime they'd breach the subject. 

“I love the idea of making you come with just my words.” he had whispered against his naked skin one night, after love. “What could be better than that?” A kiss pressed against his shoulder and Lucas had turned around, sliding his arms around his neck and bringing him down. “I have a few ideas” he had replied and the world had disappeared around them. This right now, felt exactly the same. 

E : So you need convincing? I would pin you on the matress with my whole body. No escape. And I would touch you everywhere you'd let me. My lips would be on your neck, just where you like them and you would make those noises I can never get enough of. You'd try to touch me to but I wouldn't let you. You'd be all mine. 

L : Bold of you to assume I would let you win so easily.   
E : Like you'd have a choice. I would be between your legs now, caressing your tighs, not touching anywhere else, to see how long you can hold it before asking me to move. Then I'd bite you there too, just to hear you moan my name. 

Lucas exhaled a shaky breath and didn't hesitate long before pushing a head inside his boxers, wrapping his head around his member. He bit his lips at the sensation, trying to keep his voice at a minimum. He started to move his hand slowly, his eyes fixated on the screen. 

E : Then I'd put my mouth on you, my tongue first then I'll get all of you, and I'll keep you right here until you beg me.

Lucas threw his head back on the pillow, exhaling shakily. His hand was moving faster now and the heat in his lower belly was spreading to his entire body. He tried to regain his breath, to slow down. 

E : You're not responding, meaning you're doing exactly what I wanted you to do.   
L : No surprise there.   
E ; Are you close?   
L : yeah...  
E : Then stop, you're not allowed to come yet. 

“Teasing bastard”, cursed Lucas, breathless. He took his hand out his boxers, and grabbed the bedsheets with force, trying to will himself not to start again. 

E : If you're too frustrated, you can still come here. I'm not that far.   
L : I hate you.   
E : Nah, you really don't. But that's also what you'd say when I stop taking in my mouth, leaving you so fucking close and unable to do anything about it.   
L : I'd probably still kiss you anyway, hard. Tasting myself on you. Just I know you love it. Fucking you with my tongue.   
E : telling me how much you want it. Do you know how ravishing you look in moments like these? But I won't do anything about it yet, I want you to do it.   
L: And I'll switch us, making me on top, straddling you.   
E : Yeah, and then I'll be inside you again and it'll be glorious, like always. I love having you above it, seeing it all on your face, in the way you bite your lips, the noises you make, the way your hair stuck to your temples, how hard you work on me. 

Lucas's hand was on him again, the memories flooding his senses. He remembers it perfectly, the last time they were together like this. He wasn't going to last long. He bit his lips, mirroring his former self, trying to keep the moans to a minimum. Usually with Eliott, he didn't, the other man loved the noises he made in bed. 

L : I'm working pretty hard now too.  
E : Not surprised. I wish I was there with you right now, watching you, kissing your neck at the same time, urging you on.   
L : I wouldn't last long with you here.   
E : Wouldn't be my plan.   
E : But this is. Stop, right now. 

Lucas groaned in frustration, a drop of sweat running along his temple under the effort. He was burning underneath the covers.   
L : Seriously Eli, why? I was almost done here, weren't you?  
E : Me? Twice actually. But you said you could resist me, didn't you? So resist me, now. Don't come. Or you know, you could always admit your defeat and join me right now. I'll help you.. finish. 

Lucas scoffed, not believing his eyes. This audacity of his guy. He rolled over, pressing his lower belly on the matress, letting a soft, frustrated moan escaping his lips at the friction. He dropped his head on the pillow in defeat. Of course Eliott would play dirty like this, the man had practically invented being petty. The memories of the Inflitration party came floating back. How revengeful he had been that night, how he had taken it to the scorching heat that almost consumed them as they had kissed their girlfriends, only seeing the other. This was... well kinda the same. He wanted him to yield and rush to his side, into their bed again. He shifted on the bed slightly and another moan escaped him. Oh, how tempting it was. 

L : I”m going to need a very cold shower right now...   
E : Really? Feeling hot?  
L : I hate you. You'll pay for that, you know?   
E : No, you don't, and I'd love to you see you try. After I claimed you for myself, of course. 

Lucas smiled and put the phone back on the nightstand before getting up and heading for the bathroom to put an end to his little problem. 10 minutes later, still shivering from the cold, he slipped thankfully under the covers, trying not to think about what he had been doing there moments ago. Some parts of him felt hopeful, that Eliott and him could still be maintain the desire between them, even if they were apart. It was reassuring to him, knowing that it wasn't dampened by distance. He looked at his phone again, and read the texts from his boyfriend he had missed in this short period of time. Some were still on the hot side of things, full of description that were never crude but always made his blood boil in his veins, every single time. The other messages were sweeter, full of tender promises.   
He answered them all, and went to sleep with a fuller heart than the night before, trying not to think of the other boy who was going to sleep alone across the city.


	5. Without

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys; it's been so long, the end of school year is crazy for teachers too. ^^
> 
> Just so you know, I'm really dissatisfied with this chapter, but I'm tired of rewriting it so much so here it goes. I'm really not good for describing arguments so I hope it's not too unrealistic. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments, they really warm my heart.

Wednesday, 19H30

Today was a radio silence day apparently. Lucas frowned at this phone, his reflection coming back to him on the black screen. Somewhere near, the thunder was purring, non-threatening but advancing. The Parisian sky seemed torn between shades of dark blues and deep grey. Touches of yellow light defied them, projecting themselves on the people below. The café they were all huddled together was warm and buzzing with animation. They all had late classes tomorrow and had decided to start their evening here. Lucas had hesitated but having received no news from Eliott all day, he decided to take his mind of it and tagged along his friends. He had invited his boyfriend of course. 

“So, have you talked to Eliott yet? About I don't know... maybe having to live abroad for a semester?” Arthur asked sarcastically, not looking at him, as he delicately put one his cards on the table. He straightened up and turned towards his friend. 

“Not yet.” Lucas shrugged, trying to appear as nonchalant as his friend but failing. “He.. didn't reach out today. We didn't speak, at all.”

“Well, it 's not a surprise, it's all part of the bet.” Basile intervened still as oblivious as he was when he was 16, while glaring at Yann, who had just made him lose. 

“Yeah, but at least one text wouldn't hurt, you know..” Lucas tried to brush it off subtly. He looked at his screen again. 

“I sense someone who is starting to regret his bet” teased Arthur, while distributing the card. “Do you think Eliott will follow you when we go in England next year? Yeah, of course we'll go to London, where else could we possibly go?”

Lucas sighed, and put his phone away with a groan.   
“I don't think I'm going anywhere, Arthur. I'm not leaving Eliott behind. And he can't follow us, he has uni too. He's doing so good, I can't jeopardize that.”  
The gang stopped their game and stared at him. They all seemed reluctant to start yesterday's discussion again. Yann was the first one to speak. 

“What are you waiting for?”

“Nothing because I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to London. At all.” 

“But you HAVE to. You won't pass your first year otherwise, and they'll kick you out. Lucas, you're about to have a freakishly ggod scholarship, you can't give that up. You literally can't afford it.” 

“Yeah, you've talked about that school and their programs all year. You're the one who insisted I joined in. Why on earth would you back down now? Did something happen between Eliott and you that we don't know about?” 

Lucas let his cards fall down on the table, feeling even more miserable than before. He tried to explain, to put his thoughts in order. 

“Guys, I can't go. What if something happens to Eliott while I”m gone? What if he has a really bad episode and he hurts himself. I know, Basile” he interrupted his friend who was opening his mouth to object. “He's his own person and his world doesn't revolve around me and it shouldn't. But you know how we are. We'll miss each other too much and too much doesn't suit him well, you know that.”

“With all due respect Lucas, that's bullshit and you know it. Eliott is not gonna spiral because you'll spend three or four months two-hours of train away.” cut Basile, sharply. “Don't try to disguise your insecurities into future troubles. You've helped Eliott so much with everything, he tells us that every day, did you know that? So stop undermining everything you two achieve together, and tell us what's really going on. Because it's not that, and if you really believe that, you're an idiot.”

Lucas felt himself tear up as his throat got tighter. “I don't know, Baz, I just.. I don't know.”   
“Talk to him.” Yann insisted as he got up, putting his jacket back on. 

“Yeah, and just fucking communicate.” insisted Basile, who was getting up as well and gathering the cards scattered on the café table. “Things go badly when you don't talk to each other about things. Remember the Idriss disaster?”

“Yeah, I was stupid.” Lucas mumbled, his cheeks reddening as he recalled the events.   
“And we're used to that. Him too.” Arthur declared, solemn, patting him lightly on the shoulder. “Still means you should talk to Eliott though.” Basile and him exchanged glances.   
“And you should do it tonight.” he added. “We are lifting the bet, only for tonight. It's still on, but we're leaving you time to talk to him about everything.”

“Guys thanks.. I don't know though. Maybe I should just wait for this stupid bet to be done for. ” 

“Lucas, shut up and talk.” Basile interrupted him then paused realizing what he actually said in front of the others' mocking expressions. “Oh come on, you know what I mean. Just... sort it out. But no sex, or the bet is lost for you, deal?” 

“How are you gonna verify that anyway?” replied Lucas, smirking.   
“Oh, I'll know. We always know. You two wear it on your f ace.Talk to him.” Lucas scoffed softly as he watched them leave the bar. They all waved at him one last time once they got in the street, all loud and cheerful. The idea that he would soon have to leave them behind too, minus Arthur hit him like a wave, pulling him under for a second. He tore his eyes away from the glass pane and looked at his hands who were absentmindedly playing with his phone again. He decided to stay behing a while longer and ordered another beer, watching as the rain began to tap at the windows. Outside, the sky had become a dark blue and it looked heavy, almost as if the only thing preventing it from crashing down on the basement were the strict-looking roofs on top of the Parisian buildings on each side on the street. He had his headphones one, shuffing through his Spotify playlist when suddenly the song he was listening to changed. Eliott was logged into his account and had chosen to their common playlist. Cold settled in his stomach when the first notes of “Please Stay” by The Crying Shames resounded in his ears. It spreaded quickly raking on his back like overgrown fingernails. It was one of the silent signals between them and he got up, placed money on the table for his order and rushed out of the bar, under the disdainful gaze of the waiter. 

Luckily, he wasn't far from his and Eliott's place and he walked faster, his heart beating rythmically with his hurried step, the music still loud in his ears and heavy on his mind. He loves and dreaded the song at the same time. He always admired its beauty, the rise and fall of its rhythm but he couldn't overcome the message it carries with it. Eliott told him it was the song he used to listen to the excruciating days they had spent apart, when their relationship was still rocky and uncertain. “I never could listen to this song without crying.” he had said once as they were lying in bed together, entangled as one. “It reminds me how it feels when I didn't have you by my side. I love it, it's still beautiful to me, but the ghost of sadness is always with it.” He had phrased it so nicely Lucas had to tease him, partly to hide how touched he was.” That's when he had offered to make it their “blue song.” 

“Everytime you feel blue, or down, even if it's just temporary, like not particularly an episode, just like you're feeling sad or lonely and you want me here, you put on through my account and I'll come to you. Always.” 

Eliott had looked at him as he was the most precious thing in the world and had thrown himself on his lips, ravenous. They didn't have time to listen to more songs that night and “Please Stay” had become the song Eliott would send him when words left him and he needed him by his side. 

Which was precisely why Lucas was in front of their appartement, fumbling inside his backpack to find the keys. He finally found it, squished between a biology book and a weird looking chocolate bar which he probably should have thrown away months ago. 

21h02

The flat was deep in silence as he moved quietly across the kitchen towards the living room. He smiled as the open lid of the piano caught his eyes, proof that it was played recently. Papers were on the floor in disaray, and he could see hints of drawings on them, but he didn't need to get closer to know what they were about. The lights were on, softening the edges of the room and he spotted mugs and plates that hadn't been put away, which made him shake his head fondly. The both of them were not super keen on cleaning and it clearly showed now that he wasn't in the flat anymore. His room at Manon's was just as messy. 

He put his bag down on the floor, took off his shoes and jacket, laying on the sofa before heading for the bedroom where he was sure Eliott was sleeping, or at least, waiting for him. 

The only source of light in the room came from the street lamps outside and the scented candles lightened up on his side of the bed, the right one. The atmosphere was strangely heavy there, gorged on unspoken emotions. Lucas remembered his last morning in this bed, just a few days ago that seemed like an eternity. 

Now, Eliott was lying on his side, facing away from the door, head towards the window. In the soft light bathing his boyfriend, the younger boy recogized one of shirt on him which stuck to his back like a second skin. Shadows were dancing on Eliott's face and his hair almost looked black. Lucas knew better than turning on the light, instead, he tiptoed across the room and settled softly on the bed, next to the other man. He could only the back of his neck and hair but he still took his breath away. He refrained from sliding one of his hand in it, knowing how much Eliott could hate to be touched in situation like this. He didn't think it was an episode though. There had been no signs of it even if he hadn't been as present as he usually was, he still knew enough to recognize them. Something in his posture told him it wasn't. 

“So you're stealing my shirt now?” he chose to ask among the thousands things he wanted to say. His nose almost touches the back of Eliott's neck and it took all of his self restrain not to take him in his arm. In the end, he didn't need to, the other man turned around slowly, his eyes remaining closed. He answered with his eyes closed and raspy voice.

“Your pants too. And they're mine now, you'll have to reclaim them.” The beginning of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth and just like that Lucas gives in silently, starts stroking his cheek, his thump flying over the lips, barely touching the sof and plum skin. His boyfriend's eyes are opened now, dark and determined. 

“Do you have an idea of how I can do that?” Lucas replies, desirous to play along a little more, before getting into the big things. 

“You can take them off me for starters. But I won't make it easy for you, you have to earn them.” Lucas laughs at that, and he nuzzles Eliott's neck with a tenderness that almost drowns him. The taller boy uses the position to take him in his arm fully, bringing Lucas on top of him. The young man offers no resistance as the other's hands explore his back, earger to reconnect. He doesn't know how long they stay together like this, cuddled so close together there is no space left between them. He can feel Eliott's breath on his lips, his hands stroking his lower back under his shirt. They moved to their sides a while ago, facing each other. Lucas notices the purple under the taller boy's eyes, darkened by water, and a pang of guiltiness breaches his heart. He remembers the song on his playlist and the messy living room and his throat tightens. He knows he has to talk about it, about everything but he doesn't know how. 

“So how was your day?” He settles for asking.   
“Nothing much, went to class, finished early, saw the boys...” his voice faltered at the end of this sentence as he refused to look Lucas in his eyes. So that was the reason for the song then.   
“Everything went alright? Was Idriss ok?”   
“Yeah, sure, he was fine, we just talked about, well everything. School, work, his girlfriend, you, me, the bet..” Lucas could feel the tension from the other man and he knows right this instant he has just entered dangerous waters. He knows Idriss, he's one of Eliott's closest friends, and he has long given up on any feeling of jealousy or unease about this despite their history, but something doesn't feel right. He also knows Idriss doesn't understand subtlety. 

“Let me guess, he betted on me losing?” Eliott laughs at that and the atmosphere appears less tense for a second.   
“Yeah, he definitely did.” The hand on his Lucas' back stills, fingers slightly gripping the skin there.  
“What else did he say?” The smile that answers that is only sadness and Lucas feels his heart breaking a little.   
“Nothing, it's not important. I'm happy you're here.” He pulls Lucas in for a hug and he lets him without hesitation.   
“I'm sorry for using the blue song. I know it's kinda supposed to be for emergencies but.. I really needed to see you tonight.”  
“You don't need to apologize. You asked and I came. You know I'll always be here when you need it , right?” He mumbles against Eliott's shirt and the arms around him tighten. 

“I don't sleep well when you're not here.” The words sound like an murmured confession in the dark room. Lucas can feel the tension rising up again, as if sadness was seeping through every crack on the walls.

“I'm sorry about that. Is that why you decided that I shouldn't sleep either last night?” He didn't even to start anything with that sentence. He just wanted to keep the shadow out of Eliott's voice and face. It works. He can see Eliott's eyes shining in the semi-darkness. 

“Perhaps. Did it work? Did you sleep?”  
“You know very well I did not. The cold shower didn't help, that's for sure.” He shoved Eliott playfully.   
“So you really respected what I told you then? You didn't finish?”  
“Of course, I respected what you said. That's the rules of the game, remember? I hate losing, you know that.” 

The atmosphere changes again as Eliott's brows furrow, creating wrinkles on his forehead. He detaches himself just a little, enough to feel the cold materialize between them. 

“I really thought it would work, you know. That you would drop the whole thing and spend the night with me.” His head lies heavy on his pillow and his eyes seem to look far away beyond Lucas . 

“You mean the bet?” The younger man shuffled closer, the cool cotton under his left cheek getting warmer with the movement. He hesitated for a second before raising his hand and trailing gently in Eliott's hair, emprisoning it between his fingers.

“Eliott Demaury, did you try to make me surrender by using sex?” He pretends to be offended only to be rewarded by another laugh. He is, indeed, rewarded, but it doesn't last for long before the clouds reappear behind grey eyes.

“Yeah... Why does it matter to you so much anyway? The whole dependent thing. People have always said that about us.Why does it matter so much all of a sudden? Why do you feel the need to be without me right now?” 

Eliott propped up on one elbow, fixing his now ice blue gaze on Lucas. He had not occurred to him that Eliott could be hurt by any of this. He had been cheerful and teasing all week, why did it change now? Suddenly his mind stopped with one certitude imprinted on it in read letters of warning. He knew.

“What did you and Idriss talk about?” He knew he was eluding the storm that was heading straight for him but he didn't care. He had an idea that would not stop gnawing at his brain like a vulture.  
Lucas started to fidget, his hold on the other man fragile. “And I don't want to be away from you. I really don't. It's just a silly bet.. We've laughed about it, it's not that serious Eliott.”

“It is now, for you at least. To prove what? That we are not dependant on one another? What if we are? Do you care so much what other people think? Because I don't.” Eliott was raising his voice now and Lucas felt the need to crawl underneath his own skin and disappear. There was nothing he hated more than the seconds before a storm, where the world stilled, and all he could hear were the erratic beatings of his own heart. He tried to keep his voice low and under control. 

“Eliott, I don't care about what our friends think. It's not that, I swear.” 

“Yeah right. You know what? I'll say it, I need you, I'm not gonna pretend I don't. You win, can we stop this stupid thing now?” His voice is taker a higher note and Lucas can't help it, he flinched. The other man is out of the bed now, towering at the end of it. To him, he looks gigantic. Or is it him that feels so small and helpless.

“Eliott, please. I don't want to fight tonight..” Lucas hates how small his voice sounds at the moment, facing the blue storm of Eliott's eyes. “Don't say that ok? You don't need me, you know that. We're not dependant.” He moved towards the end of the bed, still seated. 

“But you still love me right?” Barely a murmur but as sharp as broken glass. “Or are you leaving me?”

Of all the things he had prepared himself to hear, this right here wasn't it. He thinks about asking if this was a joke but the distance between them seems impassable. And suddenly he understands what Idriss and Eliott talked about, what his behaviour could look like in an outsider's eyes, especially someone so protective of his boyfriend. He should be angry at Idriss, really angry but all he feels is dread and a vague sense of reassurance now that he finally gets what is going on with the man in front of him. 

“Eliott, of course I still love you. And all this is not a way to prepare you for me leaving, or for breaking up. I know,” he adds when Eliott opens his mouth to reply. He interrupts his sentence with a kiss. “It looks like that, I'll admit it. But you know these kinds of weird schemes are not my specialty. It's way beyond my brain range, you're the evil one in this relationship.” 

He pokes at his ribs teasingly and the taller boy huffs a laugh against the sheets. “I'm doing this for the exact same reasons I told you about last Saturday. Believe me,” He doesn't mean it to sound as a question but he can't help himself. 

Eliott seems to ponder his response for a few seconds, searching his eyes with his own with purpose before kissing him, long and deep, all tongue and nibbled lips. Lucas moaned softly in response, vaguely conscious he has lost the perfect opportunity to tell his boyfriend everything about the year that was to come and the choices he had to make. What he said wasn't exactly true. He was preparing himself for distance, it may not have been the original plan but he could shake the feeling now. He was testing himself. He was testing them. And God, were they failing. 

 

Thursday, 00h32 

 

Eliott had his mouth on his throat, softly kissing it and making his way down where neck and shoulders meet, intent increasing with each inch. He stopped for a moment, either to ponder the situation or to create longing and Lucas held his breath, feeling the other smiling against his skin as he did so. The bite was stronger than usual, possessive and he gasped loudly, arching his back against Eliott. He felt a hand getting under his shirt, caressing the skin over his ribs lovingly, before settling on his lower back, bringing him even closer. He couldn't think about anything other than the teeth grazing his neck again and again, bringing moans with them that he couldn't stop. Not that Eliott would let him. He stopped after a long moment, when he felt how hard Lucas was against him, looking very proud of himself, seeing him so wrecked underneath his body.

“You lured me out here just for that, didn't you?” Lucas murmured, still dazzled, his skin agreably burning. He wiggled slightly, distancing himself somewhat, giving his body space to cool down. 

“Maybe.” Eliott kissed again, snaking one hand in his hair, pulling softly. “But I mostly wanted to hold you in my arms again. We don't have to do anything. But can you stay?” Lucas took a moment to think but his body was pleasantly sunk into the matress and the heat of his boyfriend on top of him felt too good to be rejected. He would think later. He would talk later too, he just needed their sweet bubble of intimacy for a while longer. 

“Ok? I'll stay.” They nestled into each other, arranging the covers above them, all small touches and heavy breating. The tension was still dormant between them, sparks running unabashly inside their skins, communicating with the other without a word. One touch and the fire would start again. They managed to fall asleep anyway. 

He didn't know what woke him up, the loneliness or the cold. Or maybe he felt what was going to happen before leaving the realm of sleep. He jolted awake, dread heavy on his stomach. He could see the lights from the living room through the barely open door of their bedroom. For a split second he wondered if he should go back to sleep but he decided otherwise. Something was urging him to get out of bed.   
He carefully slipped out of the covers and tiptoed across the room, and entered the living room silently. He didn't expect to find Eliott standing up near the sofa, Lucas's jacket in hand, looking petrified. Lucas opened his mouth to ask him what was happening when he noticed the piece of paper in his boyfriend's right hand. His heart fell down like a stone inside his chest. He recognized it It was the list of foreign universities he had looked at all afternoon, desperately searching for a solution. His mouth shut down, his throat suddenly dry as sand. Eliott finally looked up at him, lips a terrible shade of white and haunted eyes that seemed to look right through him.

“So, you really are leaving, aren't you?”

“No, no, no...” Lucas threw himself across the room, taking the paper from Eliott's hands. He let it fall next to them, taking his boyfriend's hands in his.   
“I'm not going anywhere, I swear.”  
“But the list... I was waiting for you to tell me about it but you didn't and I thought.. maybe you didn't have to leave, maybe I read it wrong..” Eliott had a vacant look in his eyes like he was in another room, in another universe. It took long excruciating seconds before he realised what Eliott said.

“Wait, what do you mean, you were waiting for me to tell you? You knew about the semester abroad? Who told you?”

“Of course I knew.” Eliott snapped, suddenly angry. “I looked up the school when you told me you got in. I was curious. I saw the semester abroad, the mandatory exchanges and internships.. I was awaiting for you to tell me but you started to act strange.. And you didn't say a word.” 

“I didn't know how to tell you.. Eliott, I swear..”

“And then, you kept going on and on about the bet, and how important it was that we be separated .. and it.. It looks weird Lucas, I don't know what you want anymore. Are you testing us? To see if we can last, away from each other? Cause if that's the reason you can fucking stop now! Yes we can, but not if you keep lying to me!” He yelled the last part and the silence that followed was defeaning. Lucas was sure he would never get used to them fighting, it tore him apart inside, every single time.   
The petty, angry side of his brain wants to yell right back 'It takes one to know one.” but he bites his tongue instead, hard. That was the old him and he wasn't that person anymore, even if he realises he had turned into him these last few days. It stops now, he thinks, taking in Eliott's red cheeks and his wounded gaze. 

“I told you.” Lucas moved forward slowly, putting his hand on Eliott's cheeks, expecting abrupt rejection. Now was one of the time when he hated not having a way with words. “I meant everything I said about the stupid bet. I don't want to be away from you, I'm not going anywhere. I was scared when I heard the news about this part of my programm. I didn't know how to tell you because the timing of all this is just.. disastrous. I didn't know about it before the bet, I didn't accept it because of that and … Yes I freaked out. Big time. But it changes nothing. I'm not going.”

He pressed his face on the taller boy's chest, feeling the erratic beating of his heart.

They stood a moment like this before Eliott pulled out, keeping his hands on Lucas' nape.   
“No, no way I'm letting you do this. You're getting in that school.”

 

Eliott sighed and left Lucas's arms, trailing towards the open window, leaning on the window pane with his whole body, as if he was suddenly weighting too much for him to handle. 

“You're refusing your dream school because of me.. Again, I'm the one weighting you down. You've talked about it all year Lucas. You were always so happy at the idea of getting in. And you're ready to throw away because of me. I can't accept that, I won't.” His tone was dark and full of unspoken shame. Lucas knew he felt that way sometimes but he always reassured him, hugging him until doubts left his mind. He tried to do the same this time but Eliott stepped back, remaining out of reach. 

“I'm not saying I'm not pissed at you for not telling me. I am. But I refuse to see you give up on your dreams because you're afraid to lose me. Or are you afraid I won't be capable of surviving on my own?” The room seems to darken and Lucas realises his fears are not the only ones envelopping them right now. He knows better than to admit that at that moment. 

“Of course not. I just don't want to be away from you. You are not weighting me down. You never have. If anything, you're the one that prevents me from drowning, every day. I'd probably never have landed this school if you hadn't help me during the exam. Please..” he pleaded, trying to reach Eliott's eyes. “Just let me figure it out.” 

Eliott gave in, finally looking in Lucas' eyes. “I'm sorry, I'm a little lost here Lu.. I don't know what you want anymore. What you are even thinking. All this..” he waved his hand weakly in the air, “.. is really fucking with my brain. I was waiting for you to talk about it and you never did. I started thinking that maybe you were considering, you and me.... And I forgot how difficult it must be for you. Idriss told me.. If I had the same choice..” 

“So that's what you talked about today?” He silently thanked Idriss for being the one who helped Eliott with all this. They had come a long way, the three of them. He used to be terribly jealous wwhen they spent time alone together. The first night out Eliott did with Idriss, he went to Mika and asked him to get him drunk. He had obliged and led him to his favorite gay club where he had ended up shirtless and drenched in water and probably champagne, he wasn't sure, his phone long forgotten at home. That was before Eliott magically appeared inside the club and dragged him home. Apparently Mika had posted the whole evening on Instagram and he had been way too anxious to not come and get him. Lucas had really tried not to feel smug about it but he had. The following times were easier, especially since he got on so well with Idriss himself. 

“Yeah.. that and other things, like I said.” Eliott ran his fingers through his own hair and the gesture lacked softness in a way that made Lucas' heart painful. “He said you were probably lost and that I should go easy on you. Looks like I can't even do that right..Can we stop talking about it, please? At least for tonight. I just feel so tired.” 

“Of course.” The younger boy eyed the couch with caution. “Do you want me to go or.. I could sleep on the couch. Give you some space. I'm probably not your favorite person right now...”

“You're always my favorite person. And you're delusional if you think I'm gonna let you anywhere outside my arms, especially tonight. Let's just go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning.” 

Lucas nodded, still feeling uneasy. He felt the unspoken words heavy between them. He didn't how to express what he was feeling at the moment, the fears and doubts gnawing at his heart. When he was feeling the same, Eliott usually drew and Lucas understood immediately what he meant and needed. But he felt powerless, unable to do the same. Words were no use, they were out of his reach. 

“I love you.” Maybe those were not, he tried to convey everything in them. And for a second, he was convinced Eliott heard them. He took him in his arms, placing his head in the crook of his neck. “Me too. We'll figure this out, don't worry. And the bet'll be officially off tomorrow. We'll be back to ourselves then. I hope you'll find the answers you are looking for by then.”

“I think I already did.” 

He wasn't lying, He clearly didn't care as much about what people were saying about their relationship and how dependant they could be with one another. What he was really hoping for now, was the slightest proof they could be strong even to live without each other for long, strong enough to keep what was between them intact. 

“We'll make it where they all failed, if we have to. I wanted to be sure we could. We will, I promise.” he murmured against his boyfriend's neck, so low he wasn't sure to have been heard. It didn't matter. What did matter was the softness of the matress under his back, the firmess of Eliott's skin against his own and the hands firmly gripping his hips keeping him right there. Not that he had any intention of escaping. Not tonight and not ever.


End file.
